Balance or Harmony?
Find out how this simple decision can ease your mind and make you
more effective.
Balance is a hot topic these days, isn't it? We're constantly asking it of ourselves and others.
How do I balance the needs of my family and my career?
How do I find time for myself?
How do I keep all of these important tasks going at the same time?
Everyone seems to be striving for that perfect "work-life balance." It sounds amazing, right?! But, somehow, none of us ever seem to achieve it.
JUST WHAT IS BALANCE?
Keeping sides equal
Perfectly portioned
All objects perfectly lined up
Even distribution
Steady position
After years of trying for that perfect balance of the various aspects of my life, I learned that the attempt has several drawbacks. Here are a few:
VERY difficult to maintain--Just as soon as I think I've got the perfect schedule worked out, a kid gets sick and throws everything off. Or, a huge deadline comes up at work, causing me to abandon all other plans.
Possibly unrealistic--An attempt to give equal time to responsibilities may lead to a day that requires more than 24 hours!! LOL
Does not acknowledge "difficult" times. (See sick kids and deadlines above!)
In reality, striving for BALANCE left me feeling constant stress and guilt for all the ways I was "failing." It led to compulsive behaviors, grumpy moods, and a striving for perfectionism that left those around me feeling the sting.
Do you ever have the "Rear View Mirror" feeling? That you're forever looking back at what you've left behind rather than forward at where you're going?
When you and I are super focused on BALANCE it can cause us to be thinking about more of what we're NOT doing (and that SHOULD word comes into play....).
Wouldn't you rather be focused on where you ARE and where you are GOING?
WHAT ABOUT HARMONY?
Makes a full, beautiful sound--part of a complete song
Producing a pleasing effect
Agreement, Peace, Consensus
When I started to focus on HARMONY instead, I noticed some significant differences.
Allows LIFE to happen--specific aspects of life can swell in need and focus for a time, without "messing up" the entire "song." Isn't a song more beautiful when it has moments of tension and then resolution?
Focus can intensify in one area for a time to meet current needs. It's ok for me to spend time with a sick kid for a day. When I'm on vacation, I can completely focus on my family and self-care. I also can be super intense about career goals for a time, knowing that it's just a season.
Because harmony is not based on keeping score or perfection, I can listen to the areas of my life and make adjustments based on needs. And when I'm in a space that feels tough, I know that it's only for a time.
Harmony gives space for:
Forgiveness
Needs, Values, and Goals Assessments
Temporary measures