Dear Burnt Out Businesswoman: Think Time Can Transform Your Overwhelmed Life
I’ve lived in a place of unbalance, overburden, and exhaustion. Just a few years ago, I was there. I had three children, one of which was a newborn, and a husband who was suffering from a severe case of burn out from his work in ministry.
I was an elementary school teacher and had to return to work when my baby was just 5 weeks old. I had too many bills, an abundance of responsibilities, and a lack of joy and fulfillment.
I know what it feels like to always be at the end of your rope and still have people WAITING for you to show up and meet their needs.
Or how about these words from a client I recently met with:
“By the time I get home everyday, I just want to disengage from everything. I don’t even want to decide what to eat for dinner because I’m so tired from making decisions all day long!”
Do you feel like your brain is on overdrive all the time? Like you are making decisions, putting out fires, and running from thing to thing all day long?
These are signs of overwhelm.
And, friends, you are not alone.
Yes, there are bright sides to this life of leadership, business, and family, and many times I’m happy to point them out, celebrate them, and bring them to light. Right now, however, I want to make sure we talk about the very real and very prevalent fact that countless business women are drowning in tasks, expectations, and fast food dinners. To put it simply, there is a mass crisis of OVERWHELM.
With my personal experience and training as a coach I’ve learned how to look at the big picture, connect that vision to our day-to-day activities, and time block for both productivity and rest. And, I’d like to help you do the same!
Throughout the last couple of months, I’ve been taking you on a journey called, “Dear Burnt Out Businesswoman.” I’ve been showing you the precise steps you need to take to:
- Kick Distractions to the Curb; (we already covered this one here!)
- Set Boundaries; (you can see this one here!)
- Learn to Delegate; (this was last month!) and
- Integrate Think Time.
When unchecked, the beginnings of burnout can lead to more serious cases. Extreme isolation and depression are places we want to avoid! (If you’re already there, I encourage you to seek out a mental health professional. I have excellent references if you need one.)
So, I encourage you to follow closely! See if the tips I share start to make a positive difference in your energy levels and daily choices.
If you participate with me, I believe that you will begin to experience healing. You’ll find yourself managing your life and expectations more reasonably. Reaching your goals will become a joy again and you’ll feel more fulfilled.
Are you ready?? This is going to be practical, realistic, and focused. You’re going to feel empowered to take some control here.
Learn How to Work Smarter, Not Harder…Integrate Think Time
What is Think Time?
Think time is a safe space where your thoughts flow freely so you can make space for creativity and thinking without limitations. This feels like a luxury, but it’s actually a necessity. Making an impact requires Think Time.
Think Time is NOT overthinking, spinning thoughts, or spiraling out to every worst case scenario you can imagine, instead Think Time is thinking DEEPLY. It’s providing space between a thought or request and an action. It’s priming your mind and body for a RESPONSE rather than a knee-jerk reaction. It’s giving you the breathing space you need to check in with your mind, body, feelings, and the Holy Spirit.
Think Time is also NOT just closing your eyes and counting to 10 (although that might be a helpful strategy at times!). It’s a deliberate, intentional, and deeply spiritual practice. It’s not only good for your peace of mind in the moment, it’s actually LIFE-CHANGING for your business, body, and mental health.
At this point, you might be saying, “Selena, Think Time sounds like a LUXURY–more valuable than a Chanel handbag! And, not nearly as much fun to splurge on!”
Hahahaha!!! I get it!!!
Friends, I hope you’ll accept my encouragement (and even insistence!) in this area.
“But, Selena, I’d rather get a pedicure!!”
Y’all, I get a massage once a week (and I’m pretty bougie about it.) I totally understand the balm that is taking care of your physical body. That kind of self-care is a band-aid and will only touch the surface of healing. Identifying your values, figuring out what’s deeply important to you, celebrating your unique contribution, allowing time to process your emotions, leaving space for creativity–these self-care items will CHANGE YOUR LIFE. They will give you the ability to stop spinning your wheels. These will help you work smarter, not harder.
Now that I’ve convinced you…
Don’t be surprised or disappointed when you find that it takes practice. It’s just like any other spiritual discipline.
Let’s use some help from the enneagram to give each of you individualized insight into how you can begin to Integrate Think Time into your daily life.
The Enneagram
If you’ve been here for a little while, you’ve probably heard me talk about one of my favorite coaching tools – The Enneagram. It’s a personality test that focuses more on the motivations behind our actions versus the actions themselves (whether you’re an extrovert or introvert – pragmatic or creative).
Here’s a little guide as to how you can Work Smarter, Not Harder (using Think Time!) based on your Enneagram number.
Types 8, 9, 1 – Gut Types, Instinct
The inner motivations for the Gut Types are concerned with keeping a resistance to reality. Their actions are centered around making a controlled environment.
- The Champion (Type 8) wants to assert their control on the world around them. “I’ve got to help the underdog! I want to make society a better place.”
- The Peacemaker (Type 9) vacillates between controlling their environment and themselves. “When there is no conflict–inside or out–I can relax and experience peace.
- ”The Improver (Type 1) asserts their control over themselves. “If I can improve on my processes and get things just right, then I am a good person.”
All three of these gut types rely on their instincts to make decisions. Some may call this the Holy Spirit, or intuition, or just a feeling.
Do you hear the desire to control across the gut types? This can be a great strength! But, when it’s time to slow down and access some quality Think Time, these types need to access stillness–a break from striving to “fix” things around or inside of themselves.
My tips for the Gut Types & Think Time:
Be present in your body to make wiser decisions.
- Close your eyes and do a body scan. Where is there tension or pain?
- Add a regular yoga practice to your routine.
- Get a massage. Use the time to honor your body and listen to the messages it’s sending to you.
Types 2, 3, 4 – Heart Types, Feelings
The inner motivations for the Heart Types are concerned with developing a positive self-image. Their actions are centered around making sure they are perceived as important.
- The Giver (Type 2) is looking for value in meeting the needs of others. “I know I am valuable because others love and appreciate me.”
- The Achiever (Type 3) seeks value through accomplishment. “I can achieve great things in this world. I am valued because of my awards.”
- The Individualist (Type 4) puts their energy and attention inward to maintain a self-image based on feelings, fantasies, and stories from the past. “I know I am valuable because I am unique and unlike anyone else.”
All three of these heart types rely on their feelings to make decisions. Whether they are super attuned to the feelings of others or of their own inner life, emotions are the guiding light for this triad.
Do you hear the presence of love and attention to emotion across all three types? This can be a great strength! But, when it’s time to slow down and access some quality Think Time, these types need to access solitude–a break from attending to the demanding emotional needs present around them.
My tips for the Heart Types & Think Time:
Take deep breaths and name the exact feeling in your chest before making a decision.
- Start a journal. Use it to explore your feelings.
- Add a regular meditation practice to your routine.
- Spend time alone before making a decision.
Types 5, 6, 7 – Head Types, Thinking
The inner motivations for the Head Types are concerned with finding a sense of inner guidance. Their actions are centered around making sure they are protected.
- The Investigator (Type 5) wants to retreat from life in order to gather as much information and data as possible. “I am protected when I have all of the information I need.”
- The Loyalist (Type 6) wants to trust a situation and the outcome. “I am protected when I have planned for every possible scenario and I have a leader that I trust.”
- The Enthusiast (Type 7) charges into life and seeks adventure in order to avoid the pain of their inner world. “I am protected when I can plan and look forward to a positive future.”
All three of these head types rely on their mind to make decisions. Data, statistics, facts, and trusted opinions are all useful tools in building a strategy and forming beliefs about the world.
Do you hear the brain power and ability for planning across all three types? This can be a great strength! But, when it’s time to slow down and access some quality Think Time, these types need to access silence–a break from the constant flow of data they usually rely on to make decisions.
My tips for Head Types & Think Time:
Gain access to your “quiet mind” and become grounded to make wiser decisions.
- Take a walk in nature. Notice your feet on the ground. Gently breathe out racing thoughts.
- Take a break from social media and news outlets.
- Do a small act of service for someone else.
For All Types
- Just 15 minutes a week of Think Time is a thousand times more productive than going round and round in your head.
- Take a hot bath.
- Hide in your prayer closet.
- Go for a walk.
- Do a yoga session.
- …anything that allows your brain to breathe.
Here’s your permission slip. Take out your calendar and schedule Think Time once a week on repeat for the rest of 2024!!
At the end of the day, Working Smarter, Not Harder really is a bi-product of trusting God.
You don’t need to hustle your way to success everyday.
Take that important task of Think Time as an essential part of your routine and an avenue to allow God access to your thoughts and actions.
Trust in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4
Trust in God enough to halt the hustle, listen deeply, and follow his lead.
I know you can do it!! Begin with just one thing and you’ll discover:
- That you don’t feel as exhausted at the end of each day
- That you’re taking steps toward your goals
- That you’re spending less time on things that deplete you.
Comment and share what you think will be the most helpful!
PS – If the ideas I’ve shared here still feel overwhelming and like it’s just scratching the surface of what you really need, then let’s schedule a time to chat. Just you and me. 30 mins on the phone to uncover what your obstacles might be and how coaching can help you step into your power. You need control over your life. Stop handing over the reins.
You can get on my schedule here.
Stop the path toward burnout today. Make Think Time a priority and Work Smarter, Not Harder.
Make an Impact.
Leave a Legacy.
Selena